Unlike most natural hair stories, mine didn’t start with excitement about becoming part of the natural hair community. Don’t get me wrong; I now enjoy being natural. But if you had said I would start a natural hair journey, I would’ve laughed. I was the one who said I would never go natural, I mean, ever! My decision to join the natural hair community came to mind while running on the treadmill. Yes, I was working out when I wanted to go natural. My fitness lifestyle was necessary; I knew I wouldn’t give it up because of my hair. If you’re struggling with starting your natural hair journey, I am here to help.
The Decision-Big Chop Or Transition
After months of researching, I decided that transitioning from relaxed to natural was a better fit. I was not bold enough to do the big chop! Although I had short, relaxed hair, I knew I wanted it to grow before I started clipping it away. While going through the transitioning process, I researched styles, products, hair porosity, density, etc. I wanted to be “ready” once I cut the remaining of my relaxed hair. After dealing with two textures of hair, technically, after my hair matted on me, I finally took the scissors and chopped the remaining relaxed hair entirely off.
I Didn’t Like The Woman I Saw In The Mirror
That look of “What in the world have I done” was my exact expression after cutting my hair! I think I laughed for about 10 minutes before actually crying. Going from relaxed to natural takes time to process. After the shock wore off, I searched for styles for my new-found look. For about three months, I opted for finger coils, my go-to style, allowing me to embrace the new me. This was a different look for me. No matter how I felt about my natural hair journey, I knew I had to embrace it even if no one else did.
Allowing The World To See my Natural Hair
I knew; that eventually, I would have to face the world. So, I put my lipstick and mascara on and continued my life. The people who saw my hair first were my co-workers. With anything new, people have to get adjusted to it. I didn’t receive any harsh comments, but they weren’t saying, “Girl, I love your new natural hair,” either! Even though I was self-conscious about my natural hair, I wouldn’t dare let anyone know it. This was my natural hair journey, and I was embracing it. Never allow someone else to dictate how you feel about yourself. Self-love is the best love, even with your natural hair.
Natural Friends VS. Relaxed Friends
My natural friends were excited about my new hair, but my relaxed friends weren’t ashamed to tell me what they thought. When you’re used to seeing someone with a particular hairstyle, it’s hard to see them any other way, and I understood that. I just had to make them see the new me, even if I didn’t quite know who that was myself. I understood in my natural hair journey that you had to have thick skin. No, it’s not fair for people to judge you, but in a world filled with opinions solicited and non-solicited, you have to dust yourself off and hold your head high. During the times I felt like relaxing my hair, those were the times I stayed in close contact with other naturals. I didn’t have a choice; my fitness goal was more important than my hair. I continued trying new styles, researching new products, and having long talks with my self-confidence. Yes, I lost my confidence when I cut my hair, don’t worry, I found it back! 🙂
I’ve been natural for over six years, and I am so happy that I made the decision. What I have learned in this journey is that you have to do what is best for you. No one will ever understand your journey, and that is okay. My advice to anyone struggling with their natural hair journey is always to remember why you’re doing it. Keep other natural friends around, and know that you are fabulous no matter what!
Where are you in your natural hair journey? How do you cope with being natural and having friends who are not? I would love to hear your story!
Check out this recent post: 13 Natural Hair Tools That Will Simplify Your Life.
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The Comments
Rita
Hello,
I’m 61, begin seeing gray hair about March of this year on the front right side of my hair. I have tried wearing my 4c short textured hair several times. I always return to Perms. I feel guilty and ashamed. I cut my hair to bald the first week in November. My hair has begun to grow back; however I now have a little more gray. I am not doing a good job of embracing my very short somrewhat gray 4c Hair. I want to Perm and color right now. Im wearing aw wig, in which I hate wearing wigs. I don’t feel very good about my looks and I feel God dealt me a very bad hand in looks and hair department. My sign-out is feeling bad